May Newsletter 05/14/2012
Hi Everyone, I want to thank everyone who went to Vegas and helped out with the booth. Along with that came a lot of fun. Between shows, gambling, dancing, socializing and working our booth, it was a great weekend. Roz, when you sing I get goosebumps. There isn’t anything more beautiful than hearing you sing the National Anthem. (Well, maybe there is but at the moment it was you.) If you attended, don’t forget to get your receipts to Donna for reimbursement. This Thursday is the annual LAPD Memorial honoring our LAPD Fallen Officers. The FSG will be working the event by assisting with the breakfast. I hope to see many of you there. If you are attending, the Memorial will be held at the PAB Building downtown. Mother’s Day is approaching, I wish all you Mother’s a beautiful day. While you are sipping on mimosa’s enjoying brunch, take a sip for me. It’s my birthday. Those of you attending the State or National Memorials, enjoy. I know the first time you couldn’t, the second, maybe not, but, I know that most of you can at this point. It is such a moving and beautiful time. Wish I was going. Oh, remember that candle you light the evening of the 13th in DC, when you blow it out, make a wish for me, it’s my birthday. LAPD Memorial – May 3rd The annual LAPD Memorial is held for the families of those officers who died in the line of duty. Those FSG members whose officer did die in the line of duty will receive a letter from the LAPD notifying you of this event and your parking pass will be included. The FSG has always sponsored the breakfast for this event and we, whose officer did not die in the line of duty have always worked the event alongside the EAU. Working is a choice and there is no reimbursement for mileage. This year Forest Lawn has requested to sponsor the breakfast but the FSG has still offered its services to work the event. If you would like to attend this event you must obtain a parking pass. If you would like to attend this event or work this event please contact Carole Carreon or email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. We can email you the appropriate parking pass. If you are working the event, we are meeting at 8:00 am at the PAB building. The event starts at 10 am. Elections Elections are coming up. If you are interested in becoming an FSG board member you may submit your nomination and position you wish to pursue by contacting Carole Carreon or Marijo Johnson. Board positions are President, Vice President, Treasurer and Secretary and are a two year commitment. All submissions must be in by June 1st. Voting will take place at our June Board meeting on the 26th. You must be present at the June meeting to vote. If you have an interest we encourage you to run for office. If you need more information regarding running for a position, please call Carole Carreon. LA Port Police Harbor Cruise This event has been cancelled for 2012. The Angelena is in dry dock. Stay tuned for a 2013 event. LAPRAAC Memorial Run -May 19th / Dockweiler Beach The FSG usually has a booth at this event but no vendors will be allowed this year. The FSG will not being doing a group event. If you would like more information regarding this event you may go to www.lapraac.org This is a great event for the kids. LAPD FSG Memorial – October 14 We have ten officers to add to the LAPD FSG Memorial housed in the Chapel at the Elysian Park Academy. The officers being memorialized this year are as follows: PO II Kenneth C. Aragon PO II Ray Robinson Robert “RJ” Cottle Chief Daryl F. Gates Sgt. II Frank J. Mika Det. I Walter V. Boyle PO III+1 Kent A. Carter Det. II Enrique Conrado Capt. III William A. Eaton Det. II Jesus “Jesse” Ravega PO II Chris D. Eilers Sgt. Tom Gandara III If your husband is being honored and you would like the name plaque to be different than what is noted above, please let me know as soon as possible. You may email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. Love, Peace and Hope, Marijo Johnson Add Comment Inspirations 05/13/2012
Happiness When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. – Helen Keller Happiness is like a butterfly which when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. – Nathaniel Hawthorne Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day. – Unknown Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions. – The Dali Lama You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. – Dr. Seuss There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. - Unknown April Newsletter 04/15/2012
Hi Everyone, I hope those of you who celebrate Easter had a fabulous one. I spent it with family and friends. It was good to see my boys who I don’t see enough. Why do they have to grow up and leave? I also got to enjoy my grandson who stills enjoys the Easter Bunny. I’m looking forward to Vegas coming up. So far myself, Carole Carreon, Donna Harden, Linda Peterson, Sherry Peterson-Lotz, Blondelle Grant, Mary Lodolo and Wendy Metzger are attending. I can see the shopping, bit of gambling, a show, and then the work day, which of course is so much fun. I just have a great time with you all every year. It’s a great weekend with the girls. Because we will not be attending the State or National Memorials this year, expenses will be reimbursed for this event if you work the FSG table on Sunday. Reimbursement includes a shared room, breakfast, lunch, dinner &, mileage at the IRS nonprofit rate. FSG Events It was brought to my attention that there has been some confusion about some our events and the expenses involved. I apologize and will make every attempt to be very clear in the future. These events are discussed in detail at our meetings and I apologize that I haven’t been clear in explaining these events and any cost involved with the events in our newsletters. For events which have a stipend or reimbursement associated with it only the FSG member will be eligible. The FSG is limited on the donations we receive. It usually runs between 5 and 7 thousand a year. This is not a lot of money so we must be diligent when we are looking at expenses. We also have to follow the legal requirements of a Non Profit when looking how we can expend our monies. You can receive an expense report when attending a meeting along with the meeting minutes. After discussion, it is my intention to come out with a simple handbook of our usual events and how we handle them. How we do handle events can change at any time by a vote of membership during a meeting. Only those in attendance of the meeting can vote. When we have an event and there is an expenditure this does have to be voted on. Please keep in mind that all events must be RSVP’d and any additional detail can be obtained by calling Carole Carreon. Below is a brief summary of some of our events: If we have a line of duty death where the officer is being placed on the State and/or National Memorial and that officer has a spouse then we will usually attend to support the widow/widower. The offer to attend the memorials are offered to all members. It is your decision whether to attend. We usually offer a stipend to offset the cost of attending. That stipend does not differ for any member. The stipend will not usually cover the entire expense of the memorial attended and it is the responsibility of the member to offset any additional costs. We try to carpool, room together and fly together if possible to offset cost. We try to share the best deals to get there and the FSG has to RSVP to COPS and stay at the hotel where COPS is placing us. We are there as a group and not as an individual. If you attend as an individual and not part of the group there is no stipend. When we attend Baker to Vegas, we again go as a group. We may not all drive together but once we are there we do our best to spend the weekend together as a group. Usually a stipend is given to offset the cost, this year we are reimbursing expenses as we are not attending either the state or national memorials. To receive the stipend/reimbursement you must work the FSG booth. Reimbursement includes a shared room, breakfast, lunch, dinner &, mileage at the IRS nonprofit rate. All members are invited to go, if you are receiving this newsletter you are a member. The annual LAPD Memorial is held for the families of those officers who died in the line of duty. Those FSG members whose spouse did die in the line of duty will receive notification from the department regarding the event. The FSG has always sponsored the breakfast for this event and we, whose officer did not die in the line of duty have always worked the event alongside the EAU. Working is a choice and there is no reimbursement for mileage. This year Forest Lawn has requested to sponsor the breakfast but the FSG has still offered its services to work the event. We are once again planning a harbor cruise with the LA Port Police. Please feel free to invite a friend or bring your children age 12 and above. The LA Port Police usually provide beverages during the cruise. We enjoy the day together then usually go to lunch afterwards. The lunch is not sponsored by the Family Support Group. It is something you can choose to do. This year it is our intention to celebrate Officer Roz Curry’s birthday so there will be cupcakes. We are still waiting for a confirmation date for the cruise but it will be in August. We are hoping for the 17th. Daryl F. Gates Annual Golf Tournament is sponsored by the LAPPL. This golf tournament was previously the Family Support Group Golf Tournament and was changed last year to honor Chief Gates. The LAPPL supports the FSG by providing this tournament on our behalf. The FSG assists by working the event or playing the event. The LAPPL sponsors the cost to play for FSG members. The LAPPL sponsors breakfast, lunch and a wonderful dinner with a raffle and auction. The LAPPL has generously donated $5000 every year at this event. There is no mileage reimbursement to attend. Father Mike’s Retreat is held at the Peace Officers Refuge in Joshua Tree. This is an event where we provide lunch to the members. The FSG provides a donation to the Refuge on behalf of its members for the workshop provided by Father Mike. We try to meet for breakfast before heading out to the Retreat but this is a choice and the breakfast is not sponsored by the FSG nor is the mileage to get to the retreat. The FSG has an annual memorial at the Elysian Park Academy. This year we will be adding 10 officers to our memorial which will be held in October. If you choose to attend lunch will be provided by the FSG. You are welcome to attend or to attend and help out. Mileage is not reimbursed for this event. We offer grief counseling for all our members through the Grief Recovery Method Personal Workshop with John W. James and Russell Friedman. We will reimburse the cost of the workshop once enrolled. All you need to do is enroll at http://www.griefrecoverymethod.com and then let Carole Carreon know of your enrollment. Your enrollment is confidential and we will send you a reimbursement check for the cost of the workshop. The cost of enrollment is $695.00 For additional information and enrollment please go to www.griefrecoverymethod.com The goal is to first heal. How do we do that? Attend the workshop if you feel you need it. There is no timeframe in which you have to enroll into this workshop but if you’re not healing maybe it’s an option for you. Next, be around those who are accepting and understand what you’re going through, there is no timeframe for healing. Life doesn’t end for us, we now need to embrace it and enjoy what is to come. As you can see, we do our best with what funds we have and the workshop is not inexpensive. We try to find the best use of our funds and are unable to fund or reimburse everything. You will often find that events are mentioned in the event section but no mention is made elsewhere in the newsletter. That is because I try to make you aware of what is available to you through the department as not all events are FSG events. You are always welcome to call and ask questions. Please know that some FSG expenses including mileage may be deductible. Please speak to your tax advisor regarding deductions. Future FSG Meetings In my last newsletter I had asked for input regarding our meetings. We have received a few responses not enough that would alter our current meeting schedule. If you would still like to have input, please email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org FSG Roster & Information Update We have 77 women and men who are Family Support Group members and receive our newsletters, emails, website information including cards and letters. In life we have a tendency to change our addresses, phone numbers, email addresses or we might not have your birthday information on file. I am asking that each of you who have received this newsletter to kindly email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org and provide your updated information including email address and birthdate if you have not received an email or birthday card from me. If you have any other information you would like to update, please do. We are trying to keep our records updated so we can serve you and make sure you are not forgotten. Only you can help us help you. Baker to Vegas - April 21st – 23rd We will have another wonderful time. I am so excited for everyone who has already made reservations. I encourage you to come and join us; it will be so much fun as well as providing wonderful support. It’s amazing how a weekend such as this can provide new friendships and allow you to enjoy yourself as well as take the opportunity to heal. There is so much satisfaction in supporting the men and women of the LAPD during this Law Enforcement Run. If you are going to attend you can make reservations at the Las Vegas Hilton which is the host hotel. You should make reservations through the B2V website for any discounts. If you aren’t sure about attending this event or want to go but also want to room with someone, call Carole Carreon for more information. Reimbursement for expenses to this event is available by utilizing the Travel Reimbursement Claim Form. If you don’t have one, one will be given to you at the event. We will be holding our April board meeting in Las Vegas. LAPD Memorial – May 3rd The annual LAPD Memorial is held for the families of those officers who died in the line of duty. Those FSG members whose officer did die in the line of duty will receive a letter from the LAPD notifying you of this event and your parking pass will be included. The FSG has always sponsored the breakfast for this event and we, whose officer did not die in the line of duty have always worked the event alongside the EAU. Working is a choice and there is no reimbursement for mileage. This year Forest Lawn has requested to sponsor the breakfast but the FSG has still offered its services to work the event. If you would like to attend this event you must obtain a parking pass. If you would like to attend this event or work this event please contact Carole Carreon or email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. We can email you the appropriate parking pass. Annual State and National Memorials 2011 To date we will not be attending the State and National Memorials this May in Sacramento and Washington, D.C. as a group. If this changes we will let you know. California Police Officers Memorial will be held on May 6th & 7th. The National Memorial is the 13th – 19th. If you have a desire to attend and would like more information you may go to www.camemorial.org for the California Memorial and http://www.nationalcops.org/npw2012.htm for the National Memorial. LAPRAAC Memorial Run -May 19th / Dockweiler Beach The FSG usually has a booth at this event but no vendors will be allowed this year. The FSG will not being doing a group event. If you would like more information regarding this event you may go to www.lapraac.org. This is a great event for the kids. Desert Refuge for Peace Officers Stay tuned for the 2012 update. Also this is an event we want to be able to provide but want to make sure you are available to attend. If weekend sports or childcare is an issue, please let us know so we can plan accordingly. We can only accommodate your needs if we are aware of them. LAPD FSG Memorial – October 14 We have ten officers to add to the LAPD FSG Memorial housed in the Chapel at the Elysian Park Academy. The officers being memorialized this year are as follows: PO II Kenneth C. Aragon; PO II Ray Robinson; Robert “RJ” Cottle; Chief Daryl F. Gates; Sgt. II Frank J. Mika; Det. I Walter V. Boyle; PO III+1 Kent A. Carter; Det. II Enrique Conrado; Capt. III William A. Eaton; Det. II Jesus Ravega; PO II Chris D. Eilers; Sgt. Tom Gandara III. If your husband is being honored and you would like the name plaque to be different than what is noted above, please let me know as soon as possible. You may email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. Love, Peace and Hope, Marijo Johnson Inspirations 04/14/2012
When Your Heart Is Broken, Your Head Doesn’t Work Right And Your Spirit May Not Soar by Russell Friedman & John W. James of The Grief Recovery Institute For most people, the immediate response to the death of someone important to them is a sense of numbness. After that initial numbness wears off, the most common physiological reaction is a reduced ability to concentrate. The rest of the world goes out of focus. Nothing else is important. It is normal and natural that your entire being is centered on what happened and your relationship with the person who died. The length of time that the reduced ability to concentrate lasts is individual and can vary from a few days to several months, and even longer. It is not a sign that there’s something wrong with you. The fact that the emotional impact of the death of that person has altered your day-to-day routines is very healthy. It would make no sense for you to not be affected by the death. It is normal to drift out of focus in response to conscious or unconscious memories of the person who died. Please be gentle with yourself in allowing that your focus is not on the actions of life, but on your reactions to a death. If you’re at work, you can take little “grief breaks” as needed. It’s a good idea to establish a safe person at work who you can talk to when and if you get overwhelmed. It’s also smart to have a phone pal you can call when the emotions keep you from concentrating. The breaks and chats will make you better able to do the work you need to do. Please keep in mind that it’s important to focus while driving a car. It’s not safe to drive with tears in your eyes. If need be, pull over. Allow yourself to have whatever emotions come up, and maybe call someone and talk for a while before you get back on the road. When Your Heart Is Broken, Your Head Doesn’t Work Right Along with not being able to concentrate, your thinking ability and judgment may be limited. That’s why grieving people are advised to be careful about making major life decisions in the aftermath of the death of someone important to them. To put it in simple terms, when your heart is broken, your head doesn’t work right. You must take care either not to make big decisions until you regain your ability to focus, and you must make sure you have people you trust to help you understand your choices and the consequences of what you decide. When Your Heart Is Broken, Your Spirit May Not Soar Many people with strong religious and spiritual principles may find their faith at a crossroads in reaction to the death of someone important to them. This is most common when the death has been one of those inexplicable tragedies, for which there is no apparent rhyme or reason. Grief, in reaction to the death of someone meaningful in your life, is a major emotional experience. Although we never compare feelings, it’s not an exaggeration to suggest that the death of someone special to you may be the most emotional experience you ever have. Even the most devout people report breeches or lapses in faith, as their religious and spiritual beliefs and philosophies go out of focus in the face of the emotional avalanche that confronts them. We Help With the Heart First—Intellect and Spirit After We’ve helped thousands of people recapture their intellectual abilities and reclaim their faith after losses. First we help them deal with their emotions about the death of the person, after which the function of their intellect and their faith usually return naturally. In the latter situation, if faith doesn’t return, we help them grieve and complete their relationship to God or the other faith elements that may have been affected. The latter issue regarding faith is so import that we devoted a substantial new section to it in the 20th Anniversary Edition of The Grief Recovery Handbook. © 2012 Russell P. Friedman, John W. James and The Grief Recovery Institute®. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint this and other articles please contact The Grief Recovery Institute March Newsletter 03/20/2012
Hi Everyone, It seems every month has a holiday so Happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone. In our February Newsletter, I requested a response from each of you regarding your thoughts on workshops, seminars and updating your personal information. To date I have had 5 responses. Thank you to those 5 who promptly responded. We are trying to be an effective board and an effective organization. With out your response we cannot grow and change. Our goal is to learn your needs and determine how we can meet them. In the interim, we will conduct business as usual and try to meet the needs of the 5 who responded. I hope to hear from you. FSG Death Notification I am sad to advise you that Gina Haldi passed away on February February 21, 2012. Gina has been an FSG member since 1983 after the passing of her husband Richard. Notification of the services were emailed to those members who have updated their email addresses. March 11, 1930-February 21, 2012 Gina (Mary V. Dixon Haldi) aka Jinny and Gra'ma, died peacefully at her home surrounded by her family. She is preceded in death by her lifetime love, Rick,her parents and 2 brothers. She is survived by daughters, Lynn Haldi and Tina (David) Phillips; grandchildren, Kathy and Mike VanBuren, Zac and Lance Phillips; brother, ET Dixon; and many family and friends. Graveside service March 3, 2012 at 12 noon at Green Hills Memorial Park. Celebration gathering following service at her home. In lieu of flowers donations to LAPDFSG. Please sign the guestbook at www.dailybreeze.com/obits. Future FSG Meetings At our January 2012 meeting we discussed how to make our meetings more accessible to you the member. Is it providing childcare, is it the distance to the LAPPL offices? Possibly if you would like to host a meeting in your home, come to a meeting at an outlying LAPD division, meetings on another date versus our Tuesday last day of the month, or have other ideas to make the meetings more accessible please let us know. Email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. FSG Roster & Information Update We have 77 women and men who are Family Support Group members and receive our newsletters, emails, website information including cards and letters. In life we have a tendency to change our addresses, phone numbers, email addresses or we might not have your birthday information on file. I am asking that each of you 77 who have received this newsletter to kindly email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org and provide your updated information including email address and birthdate if you have not received an email or birthday card from me. If you have any other information you would like to update, please do. We are trying to keep our records updated so we can serve you and make sure you are not forgotten. Only you can help us help you. Workshops As previously mentioned we are hoping to provide beneficial workshops for you this year. In doing so I need your participation in advising what your expectations are. In our last board meeting we realized that each of your needs might be different including when you might be able to attend, child care may be essential for you, the time of day, weekday or weekend will be imperative if you are able to attend. Would you prefer a workshop with several speakers or would you prefer to spend your time with one speaker on a specific subject. Subjects can include, what is the Memorial Foundation, what about work comp benefits, what benefits should I be receiving from the LAPD, who can I contact for questions, my husband’s death should be line of duty and it’s now what can I do? Let us know if you have other questions or subjects you’re interested in. I will tell you what we don’t want to do is take up the time of people who want to offer their services to us then have no one show up. So I am going to beg each one of you to reach out to me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org and advise me of your expectations. If you don’t know what you want email me that as well, ask me your questions and we will make sure we find you your answers. The FSG is here to serve you the best we can but can only do that with your input. We want this to be an effective year for you. Baker to Vegas April 21st – 23rd. We will have another wonderful time. I am so excited for everyone who has already made reservations. I encourage you to come and join us; it will be so much fun as well as providing wonderful support. It’s amazing how a weekend such as this can provide new friendships and allow you to enjoy yourself as well as take the opportunity to heal. There is so much satisfaction in supporting the men and women of the LAPD during this Law Enforcement Run. If you are going to attend you can make reservations at the Las Vegas Hilton which is the host hotel. You should make reservations through the B2V website for any discounts. If you aren’t sure about attending this event or want to go but also want to room with someone, call Carole Carreon for more information. We will be holding our March board meeting in Las Vegas. Annual State and National Memorials 2011 To date we will not be attending the State and National Memorials this May in Sacramento and Washington, D.C. as a group. If this changes we will let you know. California Police Officers Memorial will be held on May 6th & 7th. The National Memorial is the 13th – 19th. If you have a desire to attend and would like more information you may go to www.camemorial.org for the California Memorial and www.nationalcops.org/npw2012.htm for the National Memorial. COPS Event COPS will be at The Fab Four tribute at the Westminster Rose Center Theater in Westminster, CA on Friday, March 9th. St. Baldrick's Shaving the Way to Conquer Kids' CancerMarch 17 - LAPD and LAFD present the 2012 St. Baldrick's Shaving the Way to Conquer Kids' Cancer from 7:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. at LAFD Fire Station 89 in North Hollywood. For more information, visit http://lapd.com/events/st_baldricks_2012_shaving_the_way/ Desert Refuge for Peace Officers Stay tuned for the 2012 update. Also this is an event we want to be able to provide but want to make sure you are available to attend. If weekend sports or childcare is an issue, please let us know so we can plan accordingly. We can only accommodate your needs if we are aware of them. LAPD FSG Memorial We have ten officers to add to the LAPD FSG Memorial housed in the Chapel at the Elysian Park Academy. We are in the process of choosing a date and will notify you via the newsletter the date as well as send invitations prior to the event. Please stay tuned. Blue Line If you are not receiving the Blue Line, please email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. I will notify the LAPPL to add you to their mailing list.Love, Peace and Hope,Marijo Johnson Inspirations 03/19/2012
Proverbs and Pound Cake By Russell Friedman - The Grief Recovery Handbook Sometimes we open this column with a suggestion that you grab a coffee because we've written a longer-than-usual piece. Today, you might get a piece of pound cake to go with your java. Why pound cake? Because pound cake is a simple thing and digests easily. We're about to broach a topic that will fly in the face of conventional awareness and could benefit from a digestive aid. "Singing cheerful songs to a person whose heart is heavy is as bad as stealing someone's jacket in cold weather or rubbing salt in a wound." Who said that? Where does it come from? That, my friends, is Proverbs 25:20 - and one of the rare times you'll see us quoting scripture with a correlation to unresolved grief and recovery. The power of that proverb is in its innate wisdom that grief or sadness are necessary and even essential emotions when we've been affected by a major loss. Any attempt to "cheer-up" a grieving person puts them in conflict with their emotional, spiritual and even intellectual truths. A strange twist in modern times causes people to counsel hurting friends in an emotionally illogical manner. It's as if there's a reflexive reaction to the grief of others that compels friends and family to intone the phrase, "Don't Feel Bad." Our response is: "WHY NOT ! ?" All caps, bold, underlined, in quotes, plus exclamation point means we are yelling as loud as we can. Why shouldn't a person who has been massively affected by a death feel bad? We cannot think of a single reason that a person should not feel bad when affected by a heart-wrenching loss. "Don't Feel Bad" is most often a preamble to another communication - as in, "Don't feel bad, she's in a better place." While it's entirely possible that the person who died is in a better place, the surviving loved one is not. In addition to any sense of relief that a loved one is no longer suffering, the grieving person is often overwhelmed with the normal, natural, and painful feelings attached to the death of their loved one. This verbal phenomenon is not limited to death. Recently separated or divorced people are told, "Don't Feel Bad, he or she wasn't 'right' for you." Again, what is invoked is the absurd instruction to NOT feel what you're feeling, and to think an intellectual thought, as in, "...he/she wasn't right for you." Even if true, that doesn't diminish the heart-ache. Again we scream, "WHY NOT ! ?" Maybe we need to resort to another scriptural reference to put this in perspective. The phrase, " A time to weep and a time to laugh, A time to mourn and a time to dance," leap to mind, from Ecclesiastes - A Time for Everything. If indeed there is a time for everything, then why do we tell the people we love not to feel bad when they have every reason to do so? We are better advised to allow and encourage those we love to feel exactly as they feel, and not force them to lie because we are uncomfortable with their honest sadness. Please remember that grief workshops are available to you through The Grief Recovery Institute and sponsored by the Family Support Group. February Newsletter 02/27/2012
Hi Everyone, Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. It’s kind of cliché and hard to say that to you. I know that most of us spent the day with our memories although there are many of you who have new loves in your life, and for that, I am very happy for you. There are those of you who spent it with good friends, children and family and I’m sure you enjoyed your day as well. I remember the last Valentine's Day I spent with Ray. He planned a holiday for us in Cambria in a hotel on the beach, we were to travel by train. We missed the train so decided to drive, of course, traffic was horrible and he’s driving through traffic like a cop. I got car sick and made him pull off the freeway. When we got to Pismo Beach we decided not to go further, found a hotel. This is where we were going to spend our Valentine’s evening. We had drinks, Osso Bucco for dinner, dessert and a great evening. Ray presented me with a huge Hershey’s Kiss, Roses, a lovely card and a leather bikini. He had it all planned out. Now just from a woman’s point of view, Hershey’s Kiss, are you crazy and what were you thinking giving me a leather bikini. Love you but…(OK, I wore it for him in the jacquizzi and the Hershey Kiss, well, my kids had a sugar rush from it). The card, roses, lovely dinner and sweeping me away for a holiday, yes, lovely indeed. The memories are what we have left and beautiful they are, so vivid in my thoughts. It’s nice to remember how much we were loved. Not to say ladies, it can’t happen again. If and when it comes your way may you accept it joyfully. The memories will always be yours but new ones will be nice too. Future FSG Meetings At our January 2012 meeting we discussed how to make our meetings more accessible to you the member. Is it providing childcare, is it the distance to the LAPPL offices? Possibly if you would like to host a meeting in your home, come to a meeting at an outlying LAPD division, meetings on another date versus our Tuesday last day of the month, or have other ideas to make the meetings more accessible please let us know. Email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. FSG Roster & Information Update We have 77 women and men who are Family Support Group members and receive our newsletters, emails, website information including cards and letters. In life we have a tendency to change our addresses, phone numbers, email addresses or we might not have your birthday information on file. I am asking that each of you 77 who have received this newsletter to kindly email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org and provide your updated information including email address and birthdate if you have not received an email or birthday card from me. If you have any other information you would like to update, please do. We are trying to keep our records updated so we can serve you and make sure you are not forgotten. Only you can help us help you. Workshops As previously mentioned we are hoping to provide beneficial workshops for you this year. In doing so I need your participation in advising what your expectations are. In our last board meeting we realized that each of your needs might be different including when you might be able to attend, child care may be essential for you, the time of day, weekday or weekend will be imperative if you are able to attend. Would you prefer a workshop with several speakers or would you prefer to spend your time with one speaker on a specific subject. Subjects can include, what is the Memorial Foundation, what about work comp benefits, what benefits should I be receiving from the LAPD, who can I contact for questions, my husband’s death should be line of duty and it’s now what can I do? Let us know if you have other questions or subjects you’re interested in. I will tell you what we don’t want to do is take up the time of people who want to offer their services to us then have no one show up. So I am going to beg each one of you to reach out to me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org and advise me of your expectations. If you don’t know what you want email me that as well, ask me your questions and we will make sure we find you your answers. The FSG is here to serve you the best we can but can only do that with your input. We want this to be an effective year for you. Baker to Vegas April 21st – 23rd. We will have another wonderful time. I am so excited for everyone who has already made reservations. I encourage you to come and join us; it will be so much fun as well as providing wonderful support. It’s amazing how a weekend such as this can provide new friendships and allow you to enjoy yourself as well as take the opportunity to heal. There is so much satisfaction in supporting the men and women of the LAPD during this Law Enforcement Run. If you are going to attend you can make reservations at the Las Vegas Hilton which is the host hotel. You should make reservations through the B2V website for any discounts. If you aren’t sure about attending this event or want to go but also want to room with someone, call Carole Carreon for more information. Annual State and National Memorials 2011 To date we will not be attending the State and National Memorials this May in Sacramento and Washington, D.C. as a group. If this changes we will let you know. California Police Officers Memorial will be held on May 6th & 7th. The National Memorial is the 13th – 19th. If you have a desire to attend and would like more information you may go to www.camemorial.org for the California Memorial and www.nationalcops.org/npw2012.htm for the National Memorial. COPS Event COPS will be at The Fab Four tribute at the Westminster Rose Center Theater in Westminster, CA on Friday, March 9th. COPS for Causes Event Cops for Causes will be holding the 1st Annual Law Enforcement Family Fun Day at the Santa Anita Race Track, Saturday, February 18th. You can find more information at www.cops4causes.org. Desert Refuge for Peace Officers Stay tuned for the 2012 update. Also this is an event we want to be able to provide but want to make sure you are available to attend. If weekend sports or childcare is an issue, please let us know so we can plan accordingly. We can only accommodate your needs if we are aware of them. Blue Line If you are not receiving the Blue Line, please email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org I will notify the LAPPL to add you to their mailing list. Love, Peace and Hope, Marijo Johnson Inspirations 02/26/2012
Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you,
smashes down upon you with unimaginable force,
sweeps you up into its darkness,
where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces,
only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped...
Grief will make a new person out of you,
if it doesn't kill you in the making. - Stephanie Ericsson Each of person travels on his or her own unique journey in experiencing of the loss. Each person's experience of loss will have subtle nuances that will make it unlike any other loss, but the commonality--the grief response--with the intense feelings of loss, anger, depression, loneliness, fear, frustration, desperation, these are emotions that others will have also felt, endured and survived. What we have in common is that the grief response is felt most intensely by the heart. There is a common "language" those who have experienced grief speak, one that can often be understood without words. Many times all that is required to let someone know you have been there; that you understand their grief is just an understanding look, a gentle touch on the arm, a reassuring hug or a heart-felt note. It is in the sharing of the losses of many hearts that our own heart begins to heal. We are not alone in our losses or our feelings of grief, that someone else will have experienced similar losses (or worse) and survived. As the grieving person recognizes that others have lived through loss and survived he or she will begin to realize that he/she can survive their own loss. Sharing the losses, telling the grief story or expressing the feeling in writing or other creative endeavors, no matter how painful, is important in the healing process. Healing will be recognized when the grieving person is at a point of being able to share with those earlier in the process. With this knowledge the heart grows stronger, more sensitive and more understanding of the suffering of others. The quotation by Dr. Robert Schuller sums this up: "Our grief always brings a gift. It's the gift of greater sensitivity and compassion for others. We learn to rise above our own grief by reaching out and lessening the grief of others." - Journey of Heart Website January Newsletter 01/26/2012
Hi Everyone, I hope everyone had a fantastic New Years celebration and that 2012 will be good to all of us. I start with that sentence knowing that for some of us it wasn’t. Too those who lost their beloved officer husband in 2011 my heartfelt condolences go out to you. Know that the FSG is here for you if you allow us to be. We are easy to reach, Carole, Donna and myself or anyone within the EAU unit wants to be there for you. We are hoping to have more workshops for you this year. Some of them educational and others more healing. Keep posted as we coordinate these for 2012. If you would like to attend a meeting but are unsure of how to get there, want to carpool or have questions, call us. Baker to Vegas Guess what’s coming up again. Get ready to put it on your calendar, April 21st – 23rd. We will have another wonderful time. Blondelle so graciously made reservations for us last year to see Gladys Knight and they were front row, the year before that it was another artist and we sat on stage. Can’t wait to spend a great time with you all while we support each other. If you are going to attend you can make reservations at the Las Vegas Hilton which is the host hotel. You should make reservations through the B2V website for any discounts. Annual State and National Memorials 2011 To date we will not be attending the State and National Memorials next May in Sacramento and Washington, D.C. as a group. If this changes we will let you know. California Police Officers Memorial will be held on May 6th & 7th. The National Memorial is the 13th – 19th. If you have a desire to attend and would like more information you may go to www.camemorial.org for the California Memorial and www.nationalcops.org/npw2012.htm for the National Memorial. COPS Event COPS will be at The Fab Four tribute at the Westminster Rose Center Theater in Westminster, CA on Friday, March 9th. Desert Refuge for Peace Officers I hope you had the opportunity to read the Blue Line article on Father Mike’s Desert Refuge. As you are aware we hold an annual retreat here every year. Unfortunately, due to lack of response we cancelled it for 2011. I hope the article is informative and helps to you to understand the healing properties this refuge offers. We will be scheduling a retreat this year. I hope you join us. Blue Line If you are not receiving the Blue Line, please email me at marijojohnson@lapdfsg.org. I will notify the LAPPL to add you to their mailing list. Love, Peace and Hope, Marijo Johnson Inspirations 01/25/2012
Carole received a gift from Rose Hillman and would like to share it with you. Christmas Blessings To the one I love so much I am with you this day The day of the infant Jesus’ birth This beautiful Christmas day! A day of remembering Christmas past When we held each other close And wished upon the stars above And prayed and laughed and hoped. My Christmas gift to you my love And those who love you too Is the blessings sent from above Wrapped in kisses, hugs, and notes. As the family gets together To open presents and share the feast In the telling of our stories I am within a little of each For I have left you something Which is always near at hand I’ve left my heart and blessings In your memory, heart, and hands! | FSG Board
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